Just a quick update after the last post.

During my last trip to the coast for work, I do this pretty much every Wednesday, I tried stopping for dinner at a different fast food place. In this case, Taco Time. Taco Time is like a slightly better Taco Bell. Slightly better food, slightly higher prices. I was happy to break out of my rut. My stomach was not. What began to unfold during the next two hours of the drive home was a frantic race between the car I was driving, and my colon. I’ve already explained the fact that I have a borderline phobia about using toilets outside of my house. Side-of-the-highway rest stop toilets fit nicely into the screaming hysterically side of that phobia.

Mothers with little kids whom they’re trying to get to get to stop peeing in the car seat are not the least bit amused by a 40ish year old man screaming hysterically in a bathroom stall. The sound in those places carries like you would not believe.

So for the sake of the little kids, I do not stop at rest stops. I go home and do my business there.

Anyhow,

Thanks to my attempts to break out of my rituals, I spent about 90 minutes of my life careening down the highway at 75 miles an hour, butt elevated over the car seat, legs pinioned to the floorboard, face, I’m sure, alternating between a look of blind fear as my stomach was mid spasm and one of near biblical ecstasy as the spasms temporarily recede.

I don’t recall a lot of the drive except for bits and pieces. I recall a few of the pot holes on the highway near Ellensburg. Very gods-damned funny, Department of Transportation. I recall the 3 semi trucks that for about 10 miles blocked all three lanes of the highway, each truck going about half a mile an hour faster then the truck to it’s right. And I do recall passing a school bus on the right.

I was a pretty amusing sight, I can assume from the faces staring at me in slack jawed hilarity. Looking back, I’m not as irritated with the tax payers of tomorrow as I was at the time. I’ve heard all about the trials facing today’s schools and I have a hint at the future facing the kids on that bus and I’m sort of glad, now, that I could offer them a short respite on their way towards mediocrity. In fact, I’d say that it’s a 90% chance that at least one of those kids will probably grow up and end up working at a Taco Time to pay the bills.

So the circle of violence will be complete.

Who’s laughing now, you little bastards?

-dr